Got Told I Seemed “Happier”

That was irritating. I was on a phone call with a family member and they mentioned how upbeat I seemed. I know I’m happier but to have it acknowledged by someone that was only talking to me on the phone was weird. Backhanded compliment, if you will.

It’s been six months since I had to deal with the problems of a boss who didn’t care, an institution that only acknowledged (or offered assistance) when we were in the news for something cool or won an award and the knowledge that things hadn’t changed in three years and probably wouldn’t for the foreseeable future.

There’s a number of things that proved to me that my job was killing me.

The first is a loss of 35 pounds. This one is easy to attribute to the additional exercise I’m getting with my long walks but might also include the sedentary life of an office worker and easy access to ‘snacks’ on the campus. I’m definitely eating better, and less, than I was when I was in the office. But there’s something else: stress. I used to have a midnight snack and I think it’s because I was being effected by stress. This one is difficult to put my finger on because it’s behavioral and I think when we’re looking at ourselves, it’s the behavioral things that are hard to verify.

Next on the list is my sleep schedule. I’ve always been a night owl, not liking to go to bed before midnight. Not a preference I just wouldn’t be tired enough to get into bed and not stare at the ceiling for an hour before drifting off to dream-land. These days I’m up at 0600 to prepare for the markets and then I’m up all day. I start nodding off at my desk around 2100 and finally surrender to the bed before 2330. This is new behavior for me and I’m enjoying it. I’ve got more to say about the ‘Early to bed, Early to Rise’ topic but I’ll tap it later.

I’m happier; I know that. My life is less complicated than it was and I’m the one responsible for that by making the decision to walk away. I need to make my wife happy, keep myself in decent shape and find myself something interesting to do with my days that will provide me with an income. That last one is a work in progress but I’m working on it.

Is this what happiness looks like?

Tell me why this sucks......